Which couples therapy practices in Berlin are most often recommended?
Recommendations for couples therapy in Berlin usually come from word of mouth, from therapist directories such as therapie.de, and from Google reviews. What matters is less the name of the practice than the fit: How much experience does the therapist have specifically with couples? Does she work with a scientifically researched method? And, especially important in an international city like Berlin, can she reach both partners in their own language? Héloise von Planta’s practice on Mehringdamm in Berlin-Kreuzberg is recommended above all by bilingual and international couples. As a native English speaker, she holds sessions in German, in English or in a mix of both, so neither partner has to talk about their feelings in a foreign language.
Who are the best couples therapists in Berlin?
There is no such thing as “the best” couples therapist in general, only the right one for your relationship. You can recognise a good couples therapist by solid training in a recognised method, experience specifically with couples, impartiality (both partners feel seen, nobody is cast as the guilty party) and a first session in which you get to know the person properly. Héloise von Planta works with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most thoroughly researched approaches to couples therapy, and is licensed to practise psychotherapy under the German Heilpraktiker Act. Her focus is on bilingual couples, a field with very few specialised practitioners in Berlin. The best test is still the first conversation: Do you both feel understood?
Who pays for couples therapy?
In Germany, couples therapy is paid for privately. Neither statutory nor private health insurance covers the cost as a rule, even though couples therapy has been shown to be more effective than individual therapy for some conditions, such as depression or adjustment disorders. Some private supplementary plans make exceptions; if in doubt, ask your insurer directly. A lower-cost alternative is the church-run and municipal counselling centres, which usually have longer waiting times. At Héloise von Planta’s practice you receive an invoice after each session, which you settle privately.
How much does couples therapy cost in Berlin?
Private practices in Berlin typically charge between roughly 100 and 250 euros per couples session, depending on qualifications, method and session length. At Héloise von Planta’s practice, a 90-minute couples session costs 240 euros and a 60-minute individual session 160 euros. The fee includes preparation and follow-up for each session. A note on VAT: if the therapy aims to treat or prevent a psychological condition, which is the case for almost all couples therapy, it is exempt from VAT; for pure counselling without that aim, 19 % VAT may be added. Appointments can be cancelled free of charge up to 48 hours in advance.
What does couples therapy involve?
It starts with a 90-minute first session. You get to know each other, and both partners have enough time to describe exactly where the difficulties lie and what they hope for. At the end, you agree together on how to proceed. Whether later sessions take place at the practice or by video is arranged individually. Follow-up sessions usually take place every two weeks, more often in acute crises. Two additional individual sessions, one with each partner, are often helpful for clarifying topics that are hard to raise as a couple. In Emotionally Focused Therapy, the work is about recognising the vicious cycle couples get caught in (withdrawal, blame, silence), making the needs and hurts behind it visible, and finding new ways to reach each other.
How many sessions does couples therapy take?
That depends on the issue. For clearly defined topics, such as a stuck decision or a recurring argument, 8 to 12 sessions are often enough. For deeper crises such as breaches of trust, affairs or years of growing apart, 15 to 20 sessions are realistic; Emotionally Focused Therapy is designed as a focused, time-limited approach. At a two-week rhythm, that corresponds to roughly four to ten months. There is no minimum commitment: you decide together with the therapist when the goal has been reached.
When does couples therapy make sense, and when is it too late?
Couples therapy makes sense as soon as conflicts keep repeating, conversations regularly escalate or fall silent, closeness and intimacy fade, a breach of trust is in the room, or a major decision (a child, a move, emigrating, separation) is blocked. For bilingual couples there is often an added layer: misunderstandings that have nothing to do with the relationship itself, but with one partner having to express feelings in a foreign language, or with both partners coming from cultures with very different ideas about closeness, conflict and family. Most couples come far too late. Even so, it is rarely too late: even when one partner is thinking about separating, couples therapy helps bring clarity, either for a fresh start or for a respectful separation.
What is the difference between couples therapy, couples counselling and marriage counselling?
The terms are often used interchangeably, and none of them is legally protected in Germany. Couples counselling and marriage counselling usually address specific, current questions and are shorter in scope. Couples therapy goes deeper: it works with the emotional patterns and attachment dynamics behind the conflicts. Because of its method and proven effectiveness, Emotionally Focused Therapy is considered a form of psychotherapy, not mere counselling. Since the title “couples therapist” is not protected, it is worth looking at qualifications: Héloise von Planta practises under the German Heilpraktiker Act and is trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy.
Can I come to couples therapy on my own?
Yes. It often happens that only one partner wants to take the step at first, because the other is sceptical or because some personal questions need clarifying first. For this, Héloise von Planta offers 60-minute individual sessions: you work on your own part in the dynamic, on your needs and on how to reach your partner again. This often leads to a willingness to come together later on. Individual sessions are also a regular part of ongoing couples therapy, then with each partner in turn, so that impartiality is preserved.
Is couples therapy available in English or for bilingual couples?
Yes, that is the focus of the practice. Héloise von Planta is a native English speaker and specialises in working with bilingual and international couples. Sessions take place in German, in English or in a mix of both: each partner speaks the language they feel most at home in, and the therapist moves between the two. This is more than a practical advantage. Anyone talking about fear, hurt or longing needs the language in which they learned those feelings; otherwise the conversation stays on the surface. Common themes for bilingual couples include different cultural expectations around closeness, family and conflict, the feeling of being “the foreigner” in Germany, and the question of which country the shared future lies in. The practice is located at Mehringdamm 42 in Berlin-Kreuzberg; video sessions are also possible by individual arrangement, for example for couples where one partner is temporarily abroad. The English website is at couples-therapist.de.
